I've decided to do a little posting back over at my old blog; not sure why, but there you have it.  If anyone's interested: backstreetpetshop.blogspot.com.

This warm weather, early spring (too early to be really spring?), stirs something deep within, something primal and eschatological (pre- and trans-).  I open a few windows though if this were the other end of summer I’d be closing them and pulling sweaters on; I contrive excuses to go outside and just feel it, smell it (like bringing the recycling bins in, which all winter is Just One More Damn Thing To Do).  Lent/Easter: a cycle.  Death/rebirth: natural.  Surprising?  Why?  Every morning, indeed each moment, is a little Easter; we long for the Easter of our souls/selves.  To reach it, of course, we need to not avoid death--ego-death, that is, because that’s simply the way the system works.  A brief history of the evolution of religion/spirituality as I’m beginning to understand it: What was originally seen as something that happened outside us--to the crops and the seasons--comes to be seen as something that takes place in one person, Jesus, for all our benefit; and then we begin to see that it happens, or has the potential to happen, or we have the potential to actually see it happening, in ourselves.  One way to look at things, anyway.

We took S to get her immunizations today, and when the needle pierced her skin and she started crying, I noticed that I had tears in my eyes as well. The spontaneity of this was surprising; I didn’t know I was feeling anything in particular, and on reflection, I actually wasn’t. Not sad on a cognitive level (since I know the shots are for her long-term health despite the temporary discomfort); certainly not physical pain. There was just some kind of deep, indescribable connection; it seemed (and maybe this will seem utterly strange) like there was a kind of exchange going on, because when she noticed me she seemed suddenly calm and comforted. All of this is just to say that parenting is a deep, difficult, pure, wonderful mystery and occasionally I’m aware of that.

As the day’s gone by I’ve also been thinking about it in relation to the Christian insight of a personal God--which too often causes God to be viewed as a person (and a rather unpleasant one at that), but more adequately seems to attempt to capture this sense of exchange or empathy in the universe--"What you feel, I feel; you don’t feel it alone."

So we did watch that “Tomb of Jesus” documentary on the Discovery Channel last night, kind of half-attentively between feeding the baby and various other more pressing matters.  I can’t say I was convinced; but then, neither was I unconvinced.  Mostly I was annoyed by all the needless drama and the stereotypical reenactments and glad that I didn’t have to worry about my entire worldview collapsing in a pile at my feet either way. 

One thing you’ll notice in the Gospels is that Jesus is always trying to turn attention away from himself; he’ll heal someone and then say, “Don’t tell anyone!”; he’ll perform a miracle and then say, “You’ll do much greater things than this yourself.”  I suppose if it were his ossuary, he’d probably roll over in it to see all the attention he’s gotten over the years.  I suppose if he saw the documentary, he’d probably say something like, “Let the dead unbury their dead,” and try yet again to get us to quit distracting ourselves and actually follow him.

The other night my mom and I were talking about that filmmaker who thinks he’s found the coffins or whatever of Jesus and his family.

 

Would it bother you if they found Jesus’ body?  Do you think it would change Christianity at all?

 

I mean, part of me thinks everyone would just carry on like before: the conservative fundamentalists would decry the whole thing as a vicious hoax by the liberal intelligentsia in the face of any facts, just like evolution and the Da Vinci Code; the liberal fundamentalists would keep on being smug and effete.  Those of us who wonder would keep wondering.

When I joined Zaadz I wasn't sure whether I'd ever make use of this blog, already having a well-established one elsewhere, but recently a number of synchronicities were making the time seem right for new beginnings and so I decided to make this my new space.  So here I am!