shots

We took S to get her immunizations today, and when the needle pierced her skin and she started crying, I noticed that I had tears in my eyes as well. The spontaneity of this was surprising; I didn’t know I was feeling anything in particular, and on reflection, I actually wasn’t. Not sad on a cognitive level (since I know the shots are for her long-term health despite the temporary discomfort); certainly not physical pain. There was just some kind of deep, indescribable connection; it seemed (and maybe this will seem utterly strange) like there was a kind of exchange going on, because when she noticed me she seemed suddenly calm and comforted. All of this is just to say that parenting is a deep, difficult, pure, wonderful mystery and occasionally I’m aware of that.

As the day’s gone by I’ve also been thinking about it in relation to the Christian insight of a personal God--which too often causes God to be viewed as a person (and a rather unpleasant one at that), but more adequately seems to attempt to capture this sense of exchange or empathy in the universe--"What you feel, I feel; you don’t feel it alone."